Being bullied or harassed at work? You are not imagining it

Being the target of bullying or harassment at work is one of the most stressful and isolating experiences you can face. It can make you doubt yourself, dread logging on, and feel completely powerless.

Let's start with the most important point: you are not imagining it, and it is not acceptable.

Many people in this situation wonder if they're being "too sensitive" or if it "counts" as bullying. This guide will help you understand what bullying and harassment are, and give you a clear, practical plan to take control of the situation.

The key difference: bullying vs harassment

The terms are often used together, but they have different meanings. "Bullying" is about behaviour, while "harassment" is illegal discrimination.

Examples of bullying include:

• Being constantly undermined, criticised, or picked on.
• Being excluded, ignored, or "frozen out" of team chats and meetings.
• Having your work responsibilities removed or being given impossible tasks.
• Being shouted at, threatened, or humiliated, either in private or in front of others.
• Having rumours spread about you.

The legal definition of harassment, broken down

Harassment is "unwanted conduct" that is "related to a protected characteristic" and has the purpose or effect of either violating your dignity, or creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating, or offensive environment for you.

• "Unwanted conduct": this is any behaviour you find offensive or do not welcome.
• "Protected characteristic": this is the key. The behaviour must be related to your age, sex, disability, race, religion, sexual orientation, or other protected characteristic.
• "Purpose or effect": this is the most important part. It does not matter if the person intended to harass you. If their behaviour was unwanted and it had the effect of making you feel humiliated, degraded, or intimidated, it can still be harassment. It is the impact on you that matters, not their intent.

Your step-by-step plan to take control

Feeling powerless is the worst part of being bullied. This is how you take your power back.

1. Create a private record

This is the single most important thing you can do. Start a timeline in a private document (not on a work computer). For every incident, write down:

• Date and time: when did it happen?
• Who was involved: who said it? Who was there to witness it?
• What happened: be factual. "I was shouted at…" "I was excluded from the team chat…"
• How it made you feel: "This made me feel humiliated…" "This left me unable to do my job…"
• Evidence: save any screenshots, emails, or Teams messages. Forward these to your personal email address.

2. Know the rules

Check your internal company handbook. Look for policies on "Bullying & Harassment," "Dignity at Work," or "Grievance." This shows you what your employer promises to do.

3. Consider an informal resolution

Sometimes, the person may not be aware of their behaviour's impact (though, to be clear, this is not an excuse for them). If you feel safe and comfortable doing so, you could consider an informal resolution. This might involve sending a clear, calm email or having a mediated chat with HR present.

However, you do not have to do this. If the behaviour is severe, from your direct manager, or you simply don't feel safe, you should move straight to a formal complaint.

4. Raise a formal grievance

This is the official, legal way to have your complaint investigated. A grievance is a formal letter to your employer outlining your complaint and the evidence.

This step can be intimidating, but it is your right. It forces your employer to take you seriously and create an official record. Our Grievance Survival Toolkit walks you through this entire process, from what to expect in the investigation to how to handle the meetings.

To get started on the letter itself, our free Letter & Grievance Builder will help you structure your complaint correctly and professionally.